Feeling the salty taste of my tears but I don't talk about it, because it sounds so dramatic and sad and I'm not a sad person. I'm happy. I'm so fucking happy that I think I'm the happiest person I've ever known in my entire life.
I'm always smiling, no matter what. Few people already saw me crying. Few. And, you can bet, if I'm crying, if I'm looking sad or angry, it's because something very wrong and bad and tragic happened. Otherwise, I'm a big smile. All the time.
And it isn't fake. Is true. I'm, indeed, a happy person. I see the glass half full. I believe in mankind. The humanity can overcome all my skeptical thoughts. Again and again and again. Thankfully.
But I don't look inside of me very often. Not because I hate myself or something like that. The thing is... I don't know where I'm going and I don't know where I've been. So, is kinda boring to look inside.
For not know, I regret. Oh, boy, I have so many regrets. I hate people telling me that they don't have regrets of anything. It's a Edith Piaf's cliche. Sounds beautiful, but isn't true. In the same way, I hate people telling me that they only have regrets of things they haven't done. Because, well, if you didn't do something, it's because you did something. You gave up. You hesitated. You runaway. So, stop fooling yourself. You have regrets. Everybody has.
I regret to be what I am, to be where I am. It's pretty much everything. I regret of all the choices I made that led me into this. Into nothing. Into black.
Yes, I intend to change. But I'm doing nothing. And I hate that. I hate that.
But, "despite of my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage".
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